You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
