it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
