i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
