he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
