Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
