So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
