Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
