tell your sister to shave her snatch
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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