i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
