I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
