I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just want to make out with him forever
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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