i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
