remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
