Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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