i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My bed smells like the plague
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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