He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
