it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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