Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
