Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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