Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
