I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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