No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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