do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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