The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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