wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
