problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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