You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You should frame my arrest warrant.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
