so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
