Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
