Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
