I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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