i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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