i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
