you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
