THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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