i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
