my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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