I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
