With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
