I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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