your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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