I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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