I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
