There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've blown a few things in my day
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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