Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
