I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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