I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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