We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
