Do vagina's smell?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
