I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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